2005 Edition of Getting To Know Your Friends

This was originally a chain email from Mrs. Shelly. I figure instead of forwarding it, I might as well post it on me blog. Arr.

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1. What time did you get up this Morning? At the crack of 1pm.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Given their superior molecular strucuture, I'd have to go with Diamonds. They double as bling and superior cutting material.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Constantine. The movie Mike forgot to add to his weekly update after KATSUCON.
4. What is your favorite TV show? Spider-man cartoon circa the 1990's. I would slit people's throats if they interupted me. Kram-man and JoeJoe know what I'm talkin about.
5. What do you have for breakfast? A premium blend of complex carbohydrates, amino acids, and vitamins I like to call my "diboxyl riboflava-pops" breakfast. I think you might call them "Berry Berry Kix"
6. What is your middle name(s)? Since this on the internet, I won't put this down...but it's so cool that I share it with my good friend Shipwreck Navaro.
7. What is your favorite cuisine? I'm sure Zebra Cakes do not qualify for "cuisine" status, so I'll go with Italian. I'm sure I run on a constant .23 BPPC (Blood Pizza/Pasta Count).
8. What foods do you dislike? Anything cooked by women. The delicious flavor just screams "WE COOK BETTER THAN YOU...NOW IT'S MIND CONTROL TIME."
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? This is a tough one. Is "at the moment" defined as today? This minute? Because it really does depend on what second of the day it is. I'd say it's pretty chill while I type, so Kruder & Dorfmeister - The K&D Sessions.
10. What kind of car do you drive? '94 Toyota MR2, or what I like to call "A fly on the American SUV windshield."
11. Favorite sandwich? Philly Cheese Steaks; I eat those like candy bars. And they make a wonderful deoderant.
12. What characteristics do you despise? Closed mindedness. Life is a learning process. Never believe you or any institution are completely right even for a second.
13. Favorite item of clothing? My Toyota MR2. It's sleek, form fitting, and doesn't make my butt look big. My new speedo jammer nuthugger is a close second. After two drag suits splitting down the front center, I figure the gaurds seeing my junk is nothing new.
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Summertime: Explore the many countries of Europe. My new targets are Ireland, Sweden, and Austria. But I'd have to stop in and say hi to my German and Italian peeps. Winter: Anywhere I can go Glacier Skiing.
15. What color is your bathroom? Duck Turd Green and white.
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Anything that doesn't make me a walking billboard to the manufacturing company.
17. Where would you retire to? The Bedroom? The Den? Retirement isn't something I'm expecting.
18. Favorite time of day? 10:30am post-coffee dump time. Toilet paper is an underutilized corporate benefit.
19. What was your most memorable birthday? I'd have to go with the stereotype here and say my 21st. There simply isn't anything like waking up in your bathroom in a puddle of your own vomit, only to find out that someone had slipped you 3 shots of Bacardi 151 at the end of the evening to get you there.
20. Where were you born? McDonalds on Rte 50. I'm fuckin serious.
21. Favorite sport to watch? College Ice Hockey. It simply doesn't get any better.
22. What fabric softener do you use? Hey, I'm not that gullible. First you tell me about some miracle product that makes fabrics soft, then you'll say that there is an equally amazing product that somehow eliminates my clothes from fading. I'm not buying.
23. Coke or Pepsi? Coke. They don't have butt-ass annoying commercials.
24. Are you a morning person Or night owl? Night owl...I prefer the taste of field mice to that of Foldgers Crystals.
25. What is your shoe size? 46 EUR...whatever that is.
26. Do you have a pet? No. For good reason. If I had a cat, I'd engineer a window slingshot and use it as ammo as I play pirate ship ala Monty Python's Meaning of Life with the neighbors across the street. If I had a dog, I'm sure it would have to be a dog with no legs so it wouldn't bother Mikey.
27. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Bryce Dallas Howard.
28. Person you expect to send it back first? Teletran One.